How do I word a request for donations in lieu of flowers?
The Short Answer
Keep it clear and gracious. A simple line such as in lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to a named charity communicates the wish without seeming to forbid flowers outright. Include the charity's name and how to give, and many families add that flowers are still welcome if preferred.
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Why families make the request
Choosing donations in lieu of flowers is a personal decision families make for many reasons, to support a cause close to the deceased, to fund research into an illness they battled, or simply because they prefer lasting good over cut flowers. It is a meaningful way to turn grief into purpose. The wording on an obituary or service notice guides mourners toward how the family wishes to be honored. A well-phrased request respects both the family's wishes and the good intentions of those who want to show they care.
Phrasing that works
Common, graceful wordings include: in lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to a named organization, or the family kindly requests donations to a cause in the deceased's memory. Always name the charity clearly and provide the address or website for giving. Some families prefer a softer touch that welcomes both, in lieu of flowers, donations to a cause are appreciated, though flowers are also welcome. This phrasing acknowledges that some people find real comfort in sending flowers and removes any awkwardness about which is right.
What mourners should take from it
If you are on the receiving end of such a request, honor it, sending a donation is the surest way to respect the family's stated wish. That said, in lieu of flowers is a request, not a rule, and a small tribute to the home is rarely unwelcome, especially from close friends. Some people do both, a donation plus a modest arrangement or a plant later. When you are unsure, follow the family's lead and give to the named cause. Our team is glad to help balance a donation with a small, respectful gesture if you wish to do both.
Planning Tips From Our Designers
- Name the charity clearly and include how to give.
- Use gracious phrasing like memorial contributions may be made to.
- Consider adding that flowers are still welcome if preferred.
- As a mourner, honor the request by giving to the named cause.
- You may thoughtfully do both a donation and a small tribute.
We're here to help you honor their memory
Our designers will guide you gently through every option, from casket sprays to sympathy arrangements for the home.
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