When a family requests donations in lieu of flowers, can I still send a tribute?
The Short Answer
When a family asks for donations in lieu of flowers, it is best to honor that wish for the service, but a small personal arrangement sent to the home later is usually welcome. You can make the donation and still express care with flowers afterward. A modest home arrangement runs $45 to $95.
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Respecting the family's wishes
When an obituary says in lieu of flowers, the family is expressing a genuine preference, often to support a cause meaningful to their loved one. The kindest first step is to honor that by making the requested donation. This does not mean you cannot show you care through flowers at all; it simply means the service itself is not the place for large tributes. Reading the family's request thoughtfully, and following it, is itself a gesture of respect that they will appreciate during a difficult time.
Thoughtful ways to still send flowers
After honoring the donation request for the service, a small arrangement sent to the family home in the days or weeks that follow is generally welcomed and appreciated. This keeps the service in line with their wishes while still letting you offer personal comfort. A modest, gentle arrangement with a heartfelt note lets the family know you are thinking of them beyond the formalities. Many people find this the best of both worlds, honoring the request and still reaching out with kindness.
When you are unsure
If the wording is ambiguous or you have a close relationship with the family, a quiet conversation clears things up. Some families welcome flowers for the home even when they request donations for the service. If you cannot ask, err toward the donation plus a small later gesture. Our designers can help you send something appropriately modest and warm. Call us at 810-742-3174 and we will make sure your gesture matches the family's wishes and your relationship with them.
Planning Tips From Our Designers
- Honor the donation request for the service itself.
- Send a small home arrangement in the following days or weeks.
- Include a heartfelt note with any later flowers.
- Ask the family directly if the wording is unclear.
- Keep any tribute modest to respect their preference.
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Bentley Florist offers same-day delivery throughout Burton, Flint, and Genesee County — arranged by hand, delivered with care.
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